DBT skill - Radical Acceptance.

Sorry I haven't posted at all this year. I've been finding it difficult to master the strength to write blog posts. I'm currently in a difficult emotional state so I thought writing this post may help. 

Radical acceptance is one of the most useful and also the most difficult skill (I personally think) to master within DBT. 

So what is radical acceptance? 

This skill is designed to help stop your emotional suffering at a time when a situation cannot be changed. Many of us have unhelpful coping techniques that we may use to ignore the situation, for example self harm, drugs or alcohol. While these coping tools help us feel better in the short term, the long term damage to our bodies and mind can be devastating. Radical acceptance is about accepting the current situation or emotion, without fighting against it.

How does it help?

Accepting pain is the first step to feeling better, ignoring it only builds up the emotion leading to more pain in the future. Although it's very difficult to accept our pain, its a big part of life that we must come to terms with. 

How to radically accept 

• Acknowledge that pain is normal and won't last forever. 
• Allow yourself to really feel where the emotion is in your body. 
• Notice if you have thoughts to fight against the emotion ('I shouldn't feel this way' 'Its not fair')
• Remember that fighting against it will only make it worse in the long run. 

This skill comes under the model 'Distress tolerance' 

Keep practicing your skills! It gets better, believe me. 

Becky x 

Why Christmas isn't so merry for some...

Christmas for most is a jolly time, filled with family, food and of course presents! But for some its a tricky time of year.

Many who deal with mental illness find this season difficult, I know I particularly do when I'm expected to be 'merry'. This expectation sometimes makes me feel guilty when I am upset, blaming and forcing myself to feel better.

Christmas can also be a time when people feel most lonely. With everyone going to spending it with families, it can be difficult when you don't have alot of family or are even that close with them. It may that you have to be around family members that you don't particularly get on with, but because this is meant to the time for family you have to suck it up and deal with it.

Below is a list of things/therapy techniques that I've picked found to be useful:

• Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong to feel an emotion. Just because its Christmas does NOT give people the right to tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. If you feel sad, then that's fine, its a completely human emotion and your allowed it feel it regardless of the time of year. Know in yourself that your emotions are valid and normal, no matter the season.
• Keep busy. If you find this a particularly stressful time of year keep yourself busy. There's lots of craft and art things you can do around christmas but if you fancied something non-christmasy, maybe write all your new years resolutions down. 
• Do something for someone else. I find focusing all my energy on doing something nice for someone else a great distraction tool, plus it boosts your self esteem! Make them a Christmas present, plan a nice meal, take them out, help the elderly or the lonely. Maybe even volunteer at a homeless shelter! 
• Treat yourself! Christmas isn't just a time for giving to others, you should also treat yourself, especially if your feeling down. Buy yourself a present, eat your favorite food, watch your favorite films. 
• Plan for the new year! Thinking of the future comforts me when I'm down, the possibilities are endless, and you won't always feel low. Make a list of everything you want to try or experience next year, give yourself something to aim or look forward to. 
• Try to avoid alcohol. As tempting as it may be, and everyone may be drinking this time of year. It'll only make you feel worse! 

These are just a few suggestions and I'm sure there is plenty more information on the internet with more. The main thing to remember is that your aren't alone, there is always someone who feels the same! Help is available if your in a crisis, call 999 or the Samaritans or a trusted friend. 

I hope that everyone keeps well this Christmas. 

Becky. x