Loosing a friend

It's always difficult to loose a friend, but with bpd it can be an extremely painful situation that can set of future fear of abandonment. Whether you just drift apart or it ends in a nasty way it can have a dramatic effect on someone's emotional welbeing. 

Having said this, it is something we all experience throughout our life. People are busy and time is short so staying friends is a unspoken commitment. But when should we stop trying and accept that the friendship won't work? 

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, how many people drift in and our off our lives. I remember being 16 and having a group of male friends at collage but after we left I would try and try to meet with them but it seemed they weren't as invested in this friendship as I was. This has become a Slight pattern for me, which got me wondering what was wrong with me? Why didn't people want to stay friends? I get attached to people and am highly loyal so whenever someone doesn't share this, I'm left feeling abandoned. 

I'm not sure how much of this is due to my bpd or if people without bpd feel the same way? 

Like many people suffering with a mental illness, I've lost a lot of friends due to their lack of understanding of my condition. It's so selfish to leave someone for an illness just because it's  getting 'too hard to handle'. Knowledge is power and if we learn about mental illness we are surely on the way to helping them recover? So I urge you to stand by anyone throughout an illness as I'm sure you would want support if the roles were reversed. 

Having said all of this, it just brings to light the true friends that stand by you and do make the effort. My motto now is that if the relationship, romantic or not isn't equal then it's not worth it. As painful as it may be, sometimes letting go is the only way to stop the cycle of rejection. 

Sorry for the slight rant, my mind has been so busy with these thoughts today! 

Hope your all well. 

Becky x